Meet Fiona Foley
by writerangel2001
Summary: A new girl moves to Stoneybrook


Chapter 1  
  
  
  
I stood in front of my new school. Students stood outside, talking. Above the doors were letters that read STONEYBROOK MIDDLE SCHOOL. The bell rang. The students rushed inside. I took a deep breath and I went inside. The hallways were crowded. I pushed through the crowd to find my locker. I found it and quickly got out of the crowd.  
  
I tried the combination. It took a few tries to get it open. The only thing I needed to put in there was my jacket. I slammed the door shut. I took my schedule out of my jean pocket. My first class was homeroom in room 126.  
  
The bell rang for class. I quickly looked for my class. I got to it just as the bell rang to begin class. I found an empty seat. Beside me was a blond haired girl. The teacher, Ms. Levine, took roll call. I learned that the girl beside me was named Stacey McGill. Then Ms. Levine read the announcements.  
  
After Ms. Levine was done, Stacey turned to me and said, "Hi."  
  
"Hi," I said softly.  
  
"Your name is Fiona, right?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. "But people call me Fi," I said.  
  
"I'm Stacey," she said.  
  
"I know," I said.  
  
"Where are you from?" she asked.  
  
"Oak Hill, Illinois," I said.  
  
"What class do you have next?" she asked.  
  
I looked at my schedule. "Gym," I said, making a face.  
  
She smiled. I blushed.  
  
"I don't like gym either," she said. "Why did you move here?"  
  
"My dad's company moved him here," I said. "He's a buyer for Bellair. He buys clothes for the mens' department."  
  
"My mom is a buyer for Bellair's department store, too," she said.  
  
"Cool," I said. "I wonder if our parents work together."  
  
"Me, too," she said.  
  
The bell rang. Stacey and I walked out of the room together. She walked with me to the gym. I approached my gym teacher, Mrs. Rosenauer. I showed her my schedule.  
  
"Okay," she said. "Have a gym uniform by next week. You can sit out until then."  
  
I nodded. My gym class went outside to play softball. I sat on the bleachers. I took my notebook out of my backpack. I wrote to my friend, Jamie, back home. Then I started to doodle on the notebook cover. Soon it was time to go inside to change.  
  
My next period was social studies. For me, the day went by slowly. My last period class was math. Stacey was in my class.  
  
"Hi again," she said.  
  
"Hi," I said.  
  
"Where were you during lunch?" she asked. "I looked for you."  
  
"I was in the library," I said.  
  
"Want to sit with my friends and me tomorrow?" she asked.  
  
"S-sure," I said, surprised.  
  
She smiled. After the period was over, I ran to my locker. I got my jacket and put my new textbooks in my locker. I had no homework. I shut my locker. I ran to catch the bus. I found an empty seat.  
  
Ten minutes later, I got off the bus. I walked up the street until I got to my grandmother's house. (Actually, she lives in a mansion.) I opened the door.  
  
"Fiona, is that you?" Grandmama called.  
  
"Yes, Grandmama," I said.  
  
"How was school?" she asked.  
  
"Fine," I said.  
  
"Have you made any new friends?" she asked.  
  
"One," I said.  
  
I must have had a sad look on my face because Grandmama reached over and patted my hand. She smiled at me.  
  
"I'm sure you'll get more friends tomorrow," she said.  
  
I went over to her. I sat at her feet. I put my head in her lap. She smoothed my hair from my face.  
  
"I'm scared, Grandmama," I said. "I don't know anyone but Stacey. I'm too shy to make any new friends."  
  
"You'll make friends," Grandmama said.  
  
"Is Druscilla home?" I asked.  
  
Grandmama nodded. "She has a friend over," she said.  
  
I got up five minutes later and went to my room. My father was still at work. It was his second day. I dumped my stuff on the bed. Since I didn't have any homework, I started reading.  
  
I probably should stop and tell you about myself. My name is Fiona Foley. I was named after my mother, who died giving birth to me. I have white blond hair and blue-green eyes. My father says that my eyes look like the ocean. That's why my father's nickname for me is "Ocean." (I know it sounds weird, but I like it.) My father says that I look like my mother.  
  
I'm twelve and in eighth grade. My grandmother is Mrs. Porter. She is my mother's mother. My father and I live with her because we couldn't find a house. I love reading and writing. I'm a straight A student.  
  
Grandmama says I'm so like my mother, I could be her twin. I have a picture of her in my locket. I also have a picture of my parent's wedding day. I have an older sister, Liz. She's married to Paul and have two kids. She's twenty-two years old. She lives in Stamford.  
  
After I read for two hours, I decided to take a nap until dinner. I told Grandmama to call me when dinner was ready. I went back upstairs. I laid down on my bed and fell asleep.  
  
  
  
"Fi!" Dad called. "Time for dinner!"  
  
My eyes opened slowly. I slowly got up. I walked down the stairs. Everybody was already seated. I sat down next to Dad. We started eating.  
  
"How was school, Ocean?" Dad asked.  
  
"Fine," I said.  
  
He looked at me worriedly. "What's wrong?" he asked.  
  
I looked at Grandmama. She nodded. I turned back to Dad.  
  
"I'm worried about making friends," I said.  
  
Dad patted my hand. He smoothed my hair back. "You'll make new friends, Ocean," he said. "Trust me."  
  
I smiled at him. He smiled back. After we finished eating, Dru, my cousin, and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. I looked at Dru. She had black hair and red-rimmed eyes. The reason why she lives with Grandmama is because her parents are divorced. She's in second grade.  
  
I put my arm around her shoulders. She smiled up at me. I smiled back. I gave her a squeeze.  
  
"I'm glad you live with us," she said.  
  
"So am I," I said.  
  
A brown haired girl was walking toward us. She waved. Dru ran to her.  
  
"Kristy!" she said.  
  
The girl gave Dru a hug. "Hi, Dru," she said. "What's up?"  
  
"My uncle and cousin moved in with us!" Dru said.  
  
"Really?" the girl said.  
  
Dru nodded. She gestured toward me. "That's my cousin, Fi," she said.  
  
The girl nodded at me. "Hi, Fi," she said. "I'm Kristy Thomas."  
  
"Hi," I said, my shyness kicking in. I'm always shy around people. Even around relatives. (Except Dad, Grandmama, Dru, and Liz.)  
  
"She goes to your school," Dru said. "And she's in the same grade."  
  
"That's cool," Kristy said. "Well, I better go. I have to finish taking Shannon on a walk."  
  
That's when I noticed she was holding a leash. And attached to the leash was a big Bernese mountain dog. She was a ball of brown and white fluff.  
  
"She's cute," I said softly.  
  
Kristy smiled at me. "Thanks," she said. "Well, bye."  
  
"Bye, Kristy," Dru said.  
  
Kristy walked on. Dru and I walked some more before it got dark. We went back home. I went upstairs and took a shower. I put on my pajamas. I got into bed. I took out my diary from a drawer in my nightstand. I began to write.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Made it through the first day of school. I was so nervous. I met two people today: Stacey McGill and Kristy Thomas. I met Stacey at school and I met Kristy while Dru and I walked around the neighborhood. I hate being shy. I'm so afraid of not making any friends.  
  
I wrote a letter to Jamie during gym. I have to get a gym uniform by next week. I can't wait until the weekend. Stacey invited me to sit with her friends and her at lunch. Today I had lunch in the library. I don't know if I want to sit with Stacey. What if her friends don't like me? Dru said that Kristy went to SMS, too. I haven't seen her. Anyway. I wish Mom were here. Maybe I'll call Liz tomorrow. She can give me advice.  
  
Fi  
  
I put my diary away. I put on headphones and listened to my CD player. Then I read a book.  
  
My eyes began to grow heavy. Dad came in to kiss me good night. I put my book away.  
  
"Night, Ocean," Dad said.  
  
"Night, Daddy," I said.  
  
Grandmama came in to kiss me good night. They left. I turned off the light. I fell asleep listening to U4Me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
  
I walked into the lunchroom and got into the lunch line. I got a salad. I paid for my lunch. I looked around the lunchroom for Stacey. I couldn't find her. I went to sit down at an empty table.  
  
"Fi, over here!"  
  
I turned around. Stacey was waving her arm. I walked over to her. Three other people were sitting at her table. Kristy was one of them. The other two were brown and black haired girls.  
  
I sat down next to Stacey. She smiled at me.  
  
"Guys, this is Fi Foley," she said to the two other girls. "Fi, this is Mary Anne Spier and Claudia Kishi."  
  
The brown haired girl was Mary Anne and the girl with black hair was Claudia.  
  
"Kristy told me that you guys met yesterday," Stacey said.  
  
I nodded. I turned to Stacey. "Did you do the math homework?" I asked. "I didn't get it. We weren't going over it in my math class in Oak Hill."  
  
"Yeah, I did the homework," Stacey said. "Get out your stuff and I'll help you."  
  
After Stacey explained it to me, I finally got it. I put away my stuff and ate lunch.  
  
"We need to have an emergency BSC meeting," Kristy said.  
  
"What is the BSC?" I asked.  
  
"BSC stands for Baby-sitters Club," Kristy explained. "It's just us."  
  
"Lately we've been getting too many new jobs," Claudia said. "We need new club members."  
  
"I've baby-sat in Oak Hill," I said.  
  
"Fi can join," Stacey said to Kristy.  
  
Kristy frowned. "I don't know," she said slowly.  
  
I felt hurt. I looked down at the table. I gathered my stuff and stood up. "I have to go," I said softly.  
  
"Fi—" Stacey started.  
  
"I have to get to the library," I interrupted. "I'll see you in math."  
  
I left the lunchroom. I could feel Stacey's eyes on my back.  
  
  
  
Grandmama gave me a house key just in case no one happened to be home when I did. When I got home, the front door was locked. I fished around my purse for the key. I found it and unlocked the door. I stepped inside the house. I shut the door behind me. The phone rang.  
  
I dropped my stuff on the floor and ran to answer it. "Hello?"  
  
"Fi, its your sister."  
  
"Liz! How are you? How are Paul and the kids?"  
  
"Fine. How was your second day of school?"  
  
"Good, I guess. I met a girl named Stacey and her friends."  
  
"That's great! You'll have tons of friends in no time."  
  
"I doubt it. I don't think they like me."  
  
"Who can not like you? How's Dad?"  
  
"Dad's fine."  
  
"Good I'm calling to let you know that the kids and I are coming over. Paul's at work."  
  
"I'm the only one home."  
  
"That's all right. I'll be over in a little bit."  
  
"All right. See you soon. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
We hung up. I picked up my stuff and put it in my room. I got out cookies and milk for my niece Vada. Liz has a one-month-old boy named Daniel. He's the cutest baby.  
  
Soon the doorbell rang. I ran to answer it. Liz was carrying Vada. In her other hand, she carried Daniel in a car seat.  
  
"Hi!" I said.  
  
Vada held out her arms to me. I took her from Liz. I gave her a kiss.  
  
"Hey, Vada," I said.  
  
She waved her hand. She yawned and snuggled against me.  
  
"She hasn't taken a nap yet," Liz said.  
  
"She can take a nap in my room," I said.  
  
Liz smiled. "Thanks," she said.  
  
"No problem," I said. I carried Vada to my room. I laid her down on my bed. I sat down on the edge of the bed. I sang her to sleep. Her eyes slowly drifted shut.  
  
I gently closed the door. I went back to the living room. Liz was sitting on the couch, giving Daniel his bottle. She had taken him out of the car seat. I smiled at them. I sat down beside Liz.  
  
"He's so cute," I said, looking down at him affectionately.  
  
Liz nodded. "So is Vada," she said. "My children are such dolls."  
  
I nodded. "Yes they are," I agreed.  
  
I watched Daniel suck his bottle. When he was done, Liz put him to her shoulder and burped him. Liz put him back in the car seat. He yawned and closed his eyes. Liz and I watched him sleep.  
  
"When will Paul get off work?" I asked.  
  
"Five," Liz said. "I left him a note saying we were here."  
  
We talked some more. Grandmama came home. She was at the store buying food for dinner.  
  
"Liz, what are you doing here?" Grandmama asked, hugging her.  
  
"I wanted to see everybody," Liz said.  
  
"Where's Vada?" Grandmama asked.  
  
"In my room, taking a nap," I said.  
  
The doorbell rang. I ran to open it. Kristy stood on our porch. I was surprised to see her.  
  
"Hi, Kristy," I said. "What's up?"  
  
"We talked it over after you left at lunch," she said. "We have been taking on more jobs than we can handle and we need more members. Since you've had some experience in baby-sitting, we were wondering if you would like to join the BSC."  
  
Excitement bubbled up inside. I tried not to show it as I said, "Sure."  
  
Kristy's face relaxed. She had looked uncomfortable.  
  
"The next meeting is tomorrow," she said. "My brother and I will pick you up at five-ten sharp."  
  
"All right," I said. "I'll be ready."  
  
She turned and left. I shut the door. I ran into the living room.  
  
"Grandmama! Liz!" I called.  
  
"What is it, dear?" Grandmama asked. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," I said. "Kristy came over and asked if I wanted to join the BSC."  
  
"That's great, Fi!" Liz said. "What's the BSC?"  
  
"It stands for Baby-sitters Club," I said. "Their next meeting is tomorrow."  
  
"How are you going to get there?" Grandmama asked.  
  
"Kristy's brother is going to pick me up," I said. "At five-ten."  
  
Soon Dad came home. Liz told him the good news. He hugged me.  
  
"I told you that you'd make new friends," he said.  
  
I smiled. Grandmama made dinner while Dad and Liz talked. Daniel woke up from his nap. Vada slept until it was time for dinner. Dad carried her to the kitchen. She had one arm around his neck. Her brown hair was messy. She rubbed her eye with a fist. Dad put her in a booster seat. He pushed in her seat and sat down next to me.  
  
"Did you have a good nap, Vada?" Grandmama asked.  
  
Vada nodded. "I had a dream about a flying pony," she said. "I rode it."  
  
"Where did you fly to?" Dad asked.  
  
"Mars," Vada said, smiling.  
  
We laughed. We started to eat. Vada played around with her food for awhile before finally eating it.  
  
"Good dinner, Grandmama," Liz said.  
  
"Thank you, Liz," Grandmama said, smiling.  
  
"When will Paul get off of work?" Dad asked.  
  
Liz looked at the stove clock. "He should be on his way home," she said.  
  
An hour later, the doorbell rang. We were done with dinner. I got up from the couch and went to answer it. My brother-in-law stood on the front porch.  
  
"Paul!" I said.  
  
He smiled and gave me a hug. I let him in. Dad stood up and shook Paul's hand.  
  
"How is work?" Dad asked.  
  
"Good, sir," Paul said.  
  
Vada ran up to him. He swept her up. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.  
  
"Hi, Daddy," she said.  
  
"Hey, sweetie," Paul, said, kissing her cheek.  
  
He put her down. Grandmama heated up some food for him. He ate hungrily.  
  
"This is good, Martha," he said.  
  
Grandmama smiled at him. Later, Dad and Paul talked while Vada and I played with Daniel. Soon it was time for them to leave. I kissed my niece and nephew good-bye. After they left, I helped Grandmama with the dishes. Then I went to my room. I wrote in my diary.  
  
After that, I read for awhile. I turned off the light. I laid down and turned on my side. I looked at a picture of my mother.  
  
"I miss you, Mom," I whispered to the picture.  
  
Of course she didn't answer back. Tears filled my eyes. I brushed them away. My door opened. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Dad brushed my hair back. He kissed my cheek. The door closed.  
  
I opened my eyes and stared at a point on the wall. I was wide-awake. I didn't think I would ever fall asleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
  
The sun shone through the window when I opened my eyes. I had finally fell asleep around midnight. It was Friday. I was so glad that the weekend was tomorrow. I turned off my alarm clock. I laid in bed for a minute or so before getting up. I took a quick shower. I went through my closet. I picked out a floral-print blouse and a matching miniskirt. I wore it with pink pantyhose and dark pink cowboy boots.  
  
I brushed my teeth and hair. I looked myself over. Something's missing, I thought. I put on my locket and good hoop earrings. Then I grabbed my backpack. I ran downstairs. I sat down at the kitchen table. I ate a blueberry muffin. Grandmama came in.  
  
"Is that all you're going to eat?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. "I'm going to be late for the bus if I eat anymore," I said.  
  
She frowned. I kissed her cheek and ran out the door. Kristy was talking to a curly dark haired girl. She looked up and saw me coming.  
  
She greeted me with, "Remember my brother and I are picking you up at five- ten for the meeting."  
  
Kristy's friend looked at me. "You're going to join the BSC?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. She smiled.  
  
"You'll have a great time," she said. "They are the best friends you'll ever find. Also the clients are great."  
  
"You're not in the club?" I asked.  
  
"I quit because I needed time to myself," she said. "By the way, I'm Abby Stevenson."  
  
"Nice to meet you," I said. "My name is Fiona Foley."  
  
"She's Mrs. Porter's other granddaughter," Kristy added.  
  
Abby looked at me in surprise. "You are?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. "I moved in with my dad a few days ago," I said. "But today's my third day at SMS."  
  
"Oh," Abby said.  
  
Soon the bus came. I sat by myself. Abby and Kristy sat together and talked about softball. I sighed. I stared out the window. I had the feeling Kristy didn't like me much. I couldn't figure out why. Soon we were at school.  
  
  
  
I made it through the three periods. Then it was time for English. I had Mr. Lehrer.  
  
"For your book report that is due two weeks from now," Mr. Lehrer said, "you'll have assigned partners."  
  
Everybody groaned. Mr. Lehrer smiled and read off the partners. My partner was Logan Bruno. I looked at the guy next to me. He smiled. I blushed and looked away.  
  
"Now get with your partner and discuss what book you're going to read," Mr. Lehrer said.  
  
Logan pulled his desk close to mine. "Hi," he said.  
  
"Hi," I said.  
  
Before I go any further, let me describe Logan to you. He has blue eyes and curly blondish brown hair. He had an average build. He has a Southern accent. I guessed he was from Kentucky.  
  
"What book do you want to do for our book report?" Logan asked.  
  
I shrugged. "I always liked the book Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen," I said.  
  
"Okay," Logan said. "I'm sure we can do that book. Are you busy today?"  
  
I nodded. "I'm going somewhere tonight," I said.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked.  
  
"I'm going to a Baby-sitters Club meeting," I said.  
  
His face fell. "Oh," he said dully.  
  
I frowned. "Is anything wrong?" I asked.  
  
"I used to be in the BSC," he said.  
  
I looked at him in surprise. "You did?" I asked.  
  
He nodded. "I quit," he said.  
  
"Why?" I asked.  
  
"I was too busy with sports," he said.  
  
"What sports to you play?" I said.  
  
"Football, track, and softball," he said.  
  
We talked until the bell rang. We stood up.  
  
"Where are you headed?" he asked.  
  
"Home ec," I said.  
  
"I'll walk you there," he said.  
  
I smiled. "All right," I said.  
  
He walked me to class. He stopped me before I went in.  
  
"Want to sit together at lunch?" he said. "We can talk about our report."  
  
"Sure," I said.  
  
He smiled. "I'll meet you in front of the cafeteria," he said.  
  
"Okay," I said. "Bye."  
  
"Bye," he said. He walked away.  
  
  
  
Soon it was lunch. Logan and I talked about the report. Then he asked me questions about myself. I basically told him my life story. Then he told me his.  
  
"Then I moved here at the beginning of eighth grade," he said.  
  
"Where in Kentucky are you from?" I asked.  
  
"Louisville," he said.  
  
"My father is from there!" I said.  
  
"He is?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. "All my aunts, uncles, and cousins from his side are there," I said.  
  
The bell rang, ending lunch. I felt a pang of disappointment. We got up, threw away our lunches, said good-bye, and went our separate ways. The rest of the day went by. Soon, I was in math class. Stacey and I talked while we waited for the bell to ring.  
  
"I saw you sitting with Logan Bruno at lunch," she said.  
  
"He and I are partners for our English project," I explained.  
  
"He used to be in the BSC," she said.  
  
"I know," I said. "He told me."  
  
"He's also Mary Anne's ex-boyfriend," she said.  
  
My eyes went wide. "He is?" I said.  
  
She nodded. "They went out for almost forever," she said. "She broke up with him because she felt that he was smothering her."  
  
"What does that have to do with me?" I asked.  
  
"I just want you to be careful," she said.  
  
"We're doing an English project together," I said. "That's all. I doubt he even likes me."  
  
"Okay," she said. "I'm just warning you."  
  
"There's no reason for you to warn me," I said.  
  
"All right," she said.  
  
Finally, the bell rang.  
  
  
  
All the way home from school, the conversation I had with Stacey played in my mind over and over. I got off at my bus stop and walked home. I let myself in. I went upstairs and did my homework.  
  
Soon Grandmama called me down for dinner. I just finished eating when a car honked outside. I grabbed my coat and ran out the door. I got into Kristy's brother Charlie's car. He drove us to Claudia's house. We let ourselves in and ran up the stairs. We were early. Kristy explained to me what the club was all about.  
  
We meet every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from five-thirty to six. Kristy's the president. She calls the meetings to order. Claudia's the vice- president because she has her own phone and number. She doesn't do much except provide snacks and answer the phone.  
  
Mary Anne is the secretary. She keeps track of the notebook and let us know who's free for a baby-sitting job. Stacey is the treasurer. She collects dues every Monday.  
  
At five-thirty sharp, Kristy called the meeting to order.  
  
"I've already told Fi about the club," she said. "Now she gets to see us in action."  
  
The phone began ringing. Throughout the meeting, six clients called. I sat on the floor, leaning against Claudia's bed. Stacey handed me a small bag filled with candy.  
  
"Dig in," she said.  
  
"You don't want any?" I asked her.  
  
She shook her head. "Can't have any," she said. "I have diabetes."  
  
"What's that?" I asked.  
  
Stacey explained it to me. It's when the pancreas doesn't make enough insulin, so blood sugar is uncontrollable. She can't eat desserts and sweets, but she can eat anything else. She gives herself insulin through a shot every day. She has to test her blood to see if she needs insulin. She has the severe form called brittle diabetes.  
  
I frowned. I gave the bag back to her. "I don't want any either," I said.  
  
"Why not?" Mary Anne asked.  
  
"I—I'm not hungry," I said.  
  
The BSC members looked at each other. I looked down at the floor. I couldn't wait for the meeting to end.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
  
The next day, Stacey caught me at my house before I went on a walk. I was surprised to see her.  
  
"Fi!" I heard someone call.  
  
I turned around. Stacey was running toward me. She waved. I waited until she caught up to me.  
  
"Hey, Stacey," I said. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I asked my mom to drive me here," she said. "I wanted to talk to you about yesterday."  
  
"What about yesterday?" I asked.  
  
"How come you didn't have anything to eat at the meeting?" she asked.  
  
"I told you," I said. "I wasn't hungry."  
  
"There's something more than that," she said. "Is it because of my diabetes?"  
  
My eyes widened. "No!" I said loudly. I lowered my voice. "No," I repeated. "Well, it's just that . . . I'm on a diet."  
  
"Why?" she asked. "You're as skinny as it is. Why make yourself even skinner?"  
  
I looked at the ground. "I don't know," I said. "I guess I'm trying to make sure I maintain my weight."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with that," she said. "Just make sure you don't lose anymore weight. It's bad for your health."  
  
I smiled. "I know," I said.  
  
We started walking.  
  
"Do you like Logan?" Stacey asked.  
  
I shrugged. "I never really . . ." My voice trailed. "He's easy to talk to."  
  
"Not to Mary Anne," she said.  
  
I shrugged again. "Maybe he learned his mistakes," I said.  
  
Now she shrugged. "Maybe," she said.  
  
We walked in silence. After awhile, I looked at Stacey.  
  
"Has it always been just four of you in the club?" I asked.  
  
"No," she said. "There used to be nine of us."  
  
My eyes widened. "Really?" I asked. "What happened?"  
  
"Abby Stevenson used to be in the club," she said.  
  
"I know," I said. "I've met her."  
  
"There was Dawn Schafer," she said. "She was Mary Anne's stepsister. She moved to California to live with her dad and family. Mallory Pike was our junior officer. But now she's at boarding school. We still baby-sit for her family. Jessi Ramsey was also our junior officer. She quit when she got accepted into the Stamford Ballet Society. With that, she would be too busy to remain a member. You know why Logan quit. The last member to quit was Shannon Kilbourne. She quit because she wouldn't have time."  
  
"Wow," I said. "All this happened recently?"  
  
She nodded. "This summer," she said.  
  
"I guess it's a good thing I moved here," I joked.  
  
"Really," she said, smiling.  
  
Soon we went around the block and were back at my house. I walked up the steps. I looked at Stacey.  
  
"Want to come in?" I asked.  
  
"Sure," she said.  
  
I opened the door. We went inside. I shut the door behind us. Stacey looked around.  
  
"I've never been in here," she said.  
  
"You never baby-sat Dru?" I asked.  
  
She shook her head. "Your grandmother doesn't work," she reminded me.  
  
"But she does get out of the house," I said. For some reason I was angry.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said.  
  
"No," I said. "I'm the one who's sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm cranky today."  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know," I said. "I have a small headache."  
  
"Do you want me to leave?" she asked.  
  
I shook my head. "I'll be fine after I take some medicine," I said.  
  
She nodded. I could tell that she didn't believe me. I went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. I took Tylenol. Then I went back into the kitchen.  
  
"Do you want something to eat?" I asked. "We have some apples."  
  
"Sure," she said.  
  
I washed an apple and cut it up. The phone rang. I went over to pick up the receiver.  
  
"Hello?" I said.  
  
"Is Fi there?" It sounded like a boy's voice.  
  
"This is she," I said.  
  
"It's Logan," he said.  
  
"Oh, hi," I said. "How did you get my number?"  
  
"I looked it up in the phone book," he said.  
  
Duh, I thought.  
  
"I was wondering if you want to get together some time and work on the project," he said.  
  
"Sure," I said. "How about Tuesday? You can take my bus after school and come to my house."  
  
"Okay," he said. "It's a date then. I'll see you on Monday."  
  
I hung up the phone, dazed. Why did he say it was a date? It didn't sound like a date to me. Stacey looked at me, concerned.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked. "Who was that on the phone?"  
  
I snapped out of my reverie. "Oh," I said dully. "It—it was Logan. He wanted to know when we were getting together to work on our project. I told him Tuesday because we have a BSC meeting Monday. I don't want Kristy to see him at my house."  
  
"Well, she'll see him Tuesday," she pointed out.  
  
"I know," I said. "I'll cross that bridge when I get there."  
  
"Okay," she said, unconvinced.  
  
I gave her a smile. After we ate, she helped me with my math homework. Soon it was time for her to leave. Her mother came to pick her up. Grandmama and Dru came home awhile later. At six, Dad came home.  
  
I ate dinner and then did my homework. After that, I worked on writing my novel. Dad told me that I got my love of writing stories from my mother. She also loved books as much as I do. As my family says, I'm the junior version of my mother. I like it when they say that. It makes me feel as if I know my mother as well as I know myself.  
  
I was finished writing chapter five when Dad came into my room. He sat on the edge of my bed. He looked at me.  
  
"Writing again?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. He smiled fondly at me. I smiled back.  
  
"Time for bed," he said.  
  
"Okay," I said.  
  
Dad kissed me good night. He left, shutting the door behind him. I put away my notebook and got undressed. I put on a white nightgown. I climbed into bed. I turned off the light. Suddenly, I felt very tired. I fell asleep in minutes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
I woke up on Monday morning feeling tired. I had trouble sleeping the night before. I kept having nightmares. One of them was about the day I was born. It was a nightmare I would get everytime my birthday came along. It was also the anniversary of my mother's death.  
  
Let me tell you about my nightmare. It took place in Oak Hill Hospital, where I was born. It was in the delivery room. I'm watching the scene before me like a ghost watching it happen. My mother is on the bed. Dad is standing next to her, dressed in a green gown. He's holding her hand.  
  
I can hear my mother's screams as she pushes. A baby girl is born. The doctor is cleaning the baby when a nurse notices that my mother is bleeding. She yells at the doctor. The doctor hands her the baby. He starts yelling at another nurse. I can't hear what he is saying.  
  
The doctor tries everything to stop the bleeding. Finally, it stops. Hours later, while in her room, my mother dies. Suddenly, Dad turns to me. He begins screaming, pointing at me. I only hear one word.  
  
"Murderer!"  
  
Every time I have the nightmare, I wake up and begin to sob. I try to convince myself that the dream means nothing. But I can't shake the feeling that I murdered my mother.  
  
Of course, it's ridiculous. I didn't kill my mother. It just happened. Dad tells me that all the time. He wants me to know that he doesn't blame me for my mother's death. But I blame myself.  
  
I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I'm white as a ghost. I have bags under my eyes. My eyes are red. I look like death, I thought.  
  
I wanted to stay home from school. I wasn't sure if I could make it through the day. But I forced myself to go. Why should I stay home? I would just be bored all day.  
  
I was so tired that I fell asleep a couple times during homeroom. Stacey had to keep waking me up.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Kristy said bluntly at lunch.  
  
Stacey gave her a Look. I poked at my food. I didn't feel like eating. Mary Anne looked at me in concern.  
  
"Want to talk about it?" she asked me.  
  
"I didn't get much sleep last night," I said. "That's all."  
  
"Why not?" Claudia asked.  
  
I shrugged. "I don't know," I lied. I wasn't ready to tell them about my dream. "My birthday's coming up," I said, changing the subject.  
  
"That's great," Claudia said. "How old will you be?"  
  
"Thirteen," I said.  
  
"You don't sound thrilled about it," Kristy said.  
  
"Kristy," Stacey warned.  
  
"What?" Kristy asked innocently.  
  
I sighed. I got up to throw away my food. Logan came jogging up to me.  
  
"Are we still on for Tuesday?" he asked.  
  
"Huh?" I said. I felt out of it.  
  
He repeated his question.  
  
"Oh," I said, remembering. "Yeah, we are."  
  
He smiled. "See you tomorrow," he said.  
  
I nodded. "See you," I said.  
  
He jogged away. I went back to the table. Everybody but Stacey was staring at me as if I had grown antlers.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"You're going on a date with Logan Bruno?" Claudia said.  
  
"No," I said. "We're doing a project together."  
  
"Oh," Claudia said. She went back to her food.  
  
"What makes you think Logan and I are dating?" I asked, sitting down.  
  
"He mentioned seeing you tomorrow," Kristy said.  
  
"He's coming over so we can work on the project," I said. "That's all."  
  
Kristy shrugged. Suddenly, I felt angry. I couldn't believe they automatically thought I was dating Logan. Sure, I liked him. But he doesn't like me that way. I wasn't sure if he was being nice to me because he liked me or just because we were doing a project together. I brushed away my thoughts. Suddenly, I was even more tired.  
  
  
  
As soon as I got home, I crashed on a couch in the living room. I took a short nap. Dad had to wake me up for dinner. He noticed that I was eating slowly.  
  
"Is something wrong, Ocean?" he asked, his eyes filled with concern.  
  
"I'm just tired," I said. "I didn't get much sleep last night."  
  
"Maybe you should go to bed early tonight," Grandmama suggested.  
  
I nodded. "I want to remind you that Logan is coming after school to work on the project," I said. "He's coming home with me on the bus."  
  
"All right," Grandmama said. "I won't be home so remember your house key. And stay in the kitchen. I don't want you to work anywhere else."  
  
"Okay, Grandmama," I said, smiling. "We'll stay in the kitchen."  
  
After dinner, I did my homework. Then I went straight to bed.  
  
  
  
I woke up the next morning feeling better. I sighed in relief. I had felt crummy yesterday. I got dressed. I put on a red turtleneck, plaid skirt, dark knee-high socks, and brown shoes. I put on my mother's good luck charm necklace. I went downstairs to the kitchen. I quickly ate breakfast. I kissed Dad good-bye. I walked to my bus stop. Kristy was already there.  
  
"Hey, Kristy," I said.  
  
"Hey," she said. "Missed you at the meeting."  
  
"Oh, shoot!" I said. I smacked my forehead. "I'm sorry! Right after school, I fell asleep on the couch. I didn't wake up until dinner."  
  
"That's all right," Kristy said. "We figured you'd be too tired. Nothing much happened anyway."  
  
"Are you sure?" I asked.  
  
She nodded. Abby came to the bus stop. Soon the bus came. I found a seat across from Kristy and Abby. They started talking about softball. It sounded boring to me so I took out a book from my purse. It was Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. I read until we got to school. I put it back in my purse. I got off the bus and went inside. I went to my locker.  
  
Logan showed up at my locker. He surprised me.  
  
"Hi," he said.  
  
"Hi," I said.  
  
"I bought a copy of Pride and Prejudice over the weekend," he said. "I started reading it. Its pretty good so far."  
  
I smiled. "I'm glad you like it," I said.  
  
"You have a nice smile," he said.  
  
I blushed and ducked my head. He smiled. He looked past my shoulder. His smile faded. I turned around. Mary Anne and Stacey were coming toward us. I looked back at him.  
  
"I have to get to homeroom," he said, never taking his eyes off Stacey and Mary Anne. "Bye."  
  
"B—bye," I said.  
  
He walked away. I stared after him, confused. I shook my head. I turned back to my locker. Mary Anne and Stacey came up to me.  
  
"Hey, Fi," Stacey said.  
  
"Hey," I said.  
  
"I saw Logan talking to you," Mary Anne said carefully.  
  
I shrugged. "He didn't say much," I said.  
  
"What did he say?" Stacey asked.  
  
"Just that he bought a copy of the book we're suppose to read for our project," I said. "Relax. He didn't ask me out. He probably never will. Okay?"  
  
They looked taken back. I bit my tongue. What was wrong with me? Why did I get so defensive? I sighed. I grabbed my books and shut my locker. I stuffed the books in my backpack.  
  
"I'm sorry," I said. "It's my birthday and the anniversary of my mom's death. It's a bad day today."  
  
Mary Anne put her arm around my shoulders. "I know how you feel," she said. "I lost my mother when I was very young."  
  
I forced a smile. Soon the bell rang. She went to her homeroom. Stacey and I went to ours. I sat down in my desk. I took out the letter I received from Jamie yesterday.  
  
Dear Fi,  
  
I miss you so much! Oak Hill isn't the same without you. I heard from a few people that Cary Retlin is in Stoneybrook! Remember him? He would always play jokes on people. Poor you, your fathers were bestfriends and Cary would always come over to your house. You would come to my house to get away from him! There's no way avoiding him now. Have you seen him? Does your dad know Mr. Retlin is in Stoneybrook?  
  
Jamie's letter went on to say what she did last weekend with our group of friends. When I finished reading the letter, I turned to Stacey.  
  
"Do you know a guy named Cary Retlin?" I asked.  
  
She made a face. "Ew, yes!" she said. "He's kind of the BSC's enemy. He's constantly annoying up. Kristy especially. Well, one time he helped us get back at Cokie Mason, an enemy of ours since third grade. Why?"  
  
"His dad is bestfriends with my dad," I said. "Have been since college."  
  
"Poor you," she said, laughing.  
  
"Yeah," I said. "Definitely poor me."  
  
"What was he like when he lived in Oak Hill?" she asked.  
  
"The same way he is now," I said, rolling my eyes. "He's a pain in the neck."  
  
"Really," she agreed.  
  
The bell rang. I went to gym. Luckily the period went by fast. I hate gym! I have never been good at it. I don't like sports. We were in the basketball unit. I went to third period.  
  
We were in the middle of class when the door opened. My teacher, Ms. Vandela, looked up. The vice-principal, Mr. Kingbridge, came in. Followed by Cary Retlin! Mr. Kingbridge and Ms. Vandela talked.  
  
After Mr. Kingbridge left, Ms. Vandela turned to the class. "Cary Retlin has changed social studies classes and is now in our class," she said.  
  
I groaned softly. I buried my face against my arms. To make matters worse, Ms. Vandela put Cary in the desk next to mine! Cary sat down and looked at me. (At this point, my face wasn't buried against my arms anymore.) His face lit up when he recognized me.  
  
"Hey, its Fiona Foley," he said, sneering. "What a nice surprise."  
  
I glared at him. "I thought when you moved away I'd gotten rid of you," I said angrily. "I guess I was wrong."  
  
I slowly began to realize what I had said. But I don't regret it. A look of surprise flickered across his face. Then it disappeared. He turned away.  
  
I smiled as I remembered what Stacey said about Cary. I couldn't wait to tell the BSC what I said at lunch.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
  
"You said that to his face?!" Kristy exclaimed. Her eyes were wide.  
  
I nodded, smiling. "It sort of slipped out," I said.  
  
"I bet he was surprised," Claudia said.  
  
"He was," I said.  
  
Kristy was looking at me in admiration. I felt happy. I had always thought she didn't like me. Well, she likes me now.  
  
"I have always wondered why Cary moved here," Kristy said. "Was he kicked out of school?"  
  
"No," I said, laughing. "Where did you get that idea?"  
  
She shrugged. "Then why did he move here?" she asked.  
  
"His dad changed jobs," I said. "We already had six locksmiths."  
  
Kristy looked disappointed.  
  
"He was bad," I said. "But he wasn't so bad that he was kicked out of school."  
  
We went back to eating lunch. Cary passed by our table. He looked at me. He had a wounded puppy look in his eyes. It took me back. He was gone before I could recover. Stacey looked at me with concern.  
  
"Are you all right?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. "I'm fine," I lied.  
  
"Okay," she said. She turned to Mary Anne.  
  
I looked over at where Cary sat. He was looking at me. Our eyes met. It sent chills down my spine. I quickly looked away. I stared at my food. Was I afraid of Cary? I wondered. Why would him looking at me send chills through my body? I glanced at him again. He was still staring at me. I forced my eyes away.  
  
Finally, the bell rang. I got up and threw away my food. I looked for Cary. But he had disappeared.  
  
  
  
When school finally ended, Logan waited for me at my locker. I put away my books and grabbed my coat. We walked to my bus and sat together. We talked about the book. We got off at my stop and went to my house. I unlocked the door. I put away my stuff. We sat at the kitchen table. We decided what to write for our report.  
  
We were finally done in two hours. The time had seemed to fly by. Logan called his mother.  
  
"Uh, Fi?" he said, looking uncomfortable.  
  
"Yeah?" I said.  
  
"I was wondering," he said, looking now at his feet, "would you like to go out sometime?"  
  
I looked at him. Was this some kind of joke? Did Logan, Mary Anne's ex- boyfriend, ask me out? He seemed serious. I didn't know what to say. Awkward silence hung between us.  
  
"Sure," I finally heard myself say.  
  
He looked at me. His face broke into a grin. "Great," he said. "How about Friday?"  
  
"Okay," I said.  
  
"My mother and I will pick you up around seven," he said. "We'll have dinner at Rosebud Café."  
  
"That sounds great," I said.  
  
A car honked. He looked out the window.  
  
"That's my mom," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye," I said.  
  
He left. After I made sure he was gone, I ran up to my room. I grabbed my diary and a pen.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
You won't believe what happened! Logan Bruno asked me out! We're going to Rosebud Café on Friday at seven. I'm excited, but also worried. Should I really go out with Logan? I mean, he's Mary Anne's ex-boyfriend! I don't want her to find out and hate me for it. It wasn't that long ago they broke up.  
  
I wrote some more before Dad announced that he was home. I ran down the stairs. I skidded to a stop in front of Dad. He looked at me in surprise.  
  
"Is everything all right, Ocean?" he asked, his eyes full of worry.  
  
"Everything is fine," I said. I kissed him on the cheek. "I'm glad you're home, Daddy."  
  
Dad gave me a hug. "Me, too, Ocean," he said.  
  
I smiled. I love it when he calls me by my nickname. I decided to tell him about Logan. I would have to tell him some time, so why not now?  
  
"Dad?" I said.  
  
"Yes?" he asked.  
  
"A boy named Logan asked me out for Friday night," I said carefully.  
  
Dad looked at me. "Who's Logan?" he asked.  
  
"My English partner," I said. "The guy I had over today."  
  
"Oh," he said.  
  
"Can I go?" I asked.  
  
"What did you say when he asked you?" he said.  
  
"Yes," I said.  
  
"Well, then," he said. "I don't prefer you to go, but if you want to, you can."  
  
"Oh, thank you, Daddy!" I said. I hugged him tightly.  
  
Grandmama came home. She made dinner. After I ate, I did my homework. Then I watched TV. Six hours later, I got ready for bed. Dad came in to kiss me good night. He sat on the bed. I noticed a velvet box in his hand.  
  
"What's that, Dad?" I asked.  
  
"It's your mother's gold charm bracelet," he said. "She wanted me to give it to you on your thirteenth birthday. I guess she knew she wouldn't be alive to give it to you herself."  
  
I hugged him. He handed me the box. I opened it and took out the gold bracelet. On it were small charms. It had book, pen, horses, and heart charms. Tears filled my eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Daddy," I sobbed. "I'm sorry I killed my mother!"  
  
He looked at me in shock. "How can you think that?" he said.  
  
"If I wasn't born," I said, "Mama would have lived. She had bled to death. I wish I wasn't born."  
  
Dad took me into his arms. I buried my face against his shoulder. He rocked me gently. I sobbed.  
  
"Sweetheart," he said, "don't blame yourself. Her death just happened. You know that."  
  
"I wish I died instead," I said, my voice muffled against his shoulder.  
  
"I don't," he said. "I would have been heartbroken either way. What made you think you killed her?"  
  
"I had a dream about the day I was born," I explained. "When Mama died, you called me a murderer."  
  
"You're not a murderer," he said. "Don't doubt for a minute that you're not to blame."  
  
"I wish I had a chance to know her," I said, my sobs slowly quieting.  
  
"I know," he said. "Me, too. Now, go to sleep."  
  
I climbed into bed. He kissed me good night. He turned off the light. He shut the door. Feeling better, I fell asleep.  
  
  
  
The next day, while I was at my locker, Kristy, Stacey, Claudia, and Mary Anne came up to me.  
  
"Hi, guys," I said. "What's up?"  
  
"There's a rumor going around that you have a date with Logan," Kristy said.  
  
I blinked News sure traveled fast. I nodded. "On Friday," I said.  
  
"Why?" Claudia asked.  
  
"He asked me," I said.  
  
"Have you forgotten that he's Mary Anne's ex-boyfriend?" Kristy said.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 7  
  
  
  
"No," I said.  
  
"Friends don't date friend's ex-boyfriends," Claudia said.  
  
"You wanted to go out with Stacey's ex-boyfriend," I pointed out.  
  
Stacey had told me about this guy Jeremy. He just recently moved into town. Claudia liked him, but he liked Stacey. Claudia found out and got mad. They had a huge fight over him. Recently, though, Stacey and Jeremy broke up. But now Claudia doesn't like him. I knew that it was a weak argument, but I said it anyway.  
  
"That's different," Kristy said.  
  
"How?" I asked.  
  
"It just is," Kristy said. "That's not the point. The point is that Logan's Mary Anne's ex-boyfriend."  
  
"I don't think that there's any harm in me dating Logan," I said, anger rising inside me. "I like Logan. And if I want to see him, I will."  
  
"Well, then," Kristy said. "You're fired from the BSC."  
  
I stared at her in disbelief. "What?" I said.  
  
"You heard me," Kristy said. "And we are no longer your friends."  
  
Tears filled my eyes. Claudia nodded in agreement. Mary Anne didn't say anything. I turned to Stacey, tears running down my face.  
  
"Stacey?" I said, my voice trembling.  
  
She looked away. I couldn't believe it. Stacey, who first befriended me, betrayed me. I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed my locker shut and ran to the bathroom. I went into a stall. I shut the door. I sat on the toilet seat. I buried my face in my hands and cried.  
  
After I had a good cry, I came out of the stall and splashed cold water on my face. I dried my face. The bell rang. I didn't think I could handle homeroom. Not when Stacey was there. I took a deep breath. I went out of the bathroom. I went to homeroom. I sat at my desk. I tried not to look at Stacey.  
  
  
  
It seemed like an eternity before school finally ended. I got on the bus. Kristy got on after me. She saw me and tried to sit as far away as possible. Abby was the last person to get on the bus. She looked at me and then at Kristy. She passed by her. She sat next to me. The bus left the school.  
  
Abby turned to me. "I heard what happened," she said.  
  
"It's unfair, Abby!" I said, tears streaming down my face. "I like Logan. Why should I break our date just because they don't like it?"  
  
"They care a lot about Mary Anne," she said. "They think that seeing you and Logan together will hurt her feelings."  
  
"Do you think it will?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know," she said. "Did she say anything?"  
  
"No," I said. "Kristy and Claudia did most of the talking."  
  
"Stacey didn't say anything either?" she asked.  
  
I shook my head. "She didn't defend me," I said. "She warned me about dating Logan. I didn't think much of it at the time. I wasn't sure then if I liked Logan. Why did Mary Anne and Logan break up?"  
  
"She felt that he was smothering her," she said. "She didn't think he thought she could handle things alone. Recently, her house burned down."  
  
I gasped in shock.  
  
"He would do things for her," she continued. "If they went out, he would plan something without telling Mary Anne first. Finally, she got tired of it. So she broke up with him."  
  
"Stacey told me that they had been seeing each other forever," I said.  
  
She nodded in agreement. Soon we got off at our stop. We walked toward my house. It turned out that she was my next door neighbor. We got to my house. We said good-bye and she went home. It felt good to know that I still had a friend.  
  
I let myself in. Grandmama and Dru had went shopping. I was glad to be alone. Usually I have a snack after school, but I didn't feel like eating. I also didn't feel like doing my homework. The phone rang. I picked up the receiver.  
  
"Hello?" I asked.  
  
"Fi, it's Logan," he said.  
  
"Oh," I said dully. I didn't feel like talking to him.  
  
"I heard what happened," he said. "Do you want to call off our date? I'd understand."  
  
For a moment, I felt like calling off the date. But I really liked him. I decided to go ahead with the date. I told him so.  
  
"Good," he said, sounding glad. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure they'll cool off."  
  
I hope so, I thought. "I got to go," I said. "I need to make dinner."  
  
"Okay," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow. We can sit together at lunch."  
  
"Sure," I said. "Bye."  
  
We hung up. By the time I was done making dinner, everybody was home. They complimented me on the dinner. I couldn't eat. I had lost my appetite. I pushed my food around the plate. Dad looked at me.  
  
"How come you're not eating, Ocean?" he asked.  
  
"I'm not hungry," I said.  
  
"Why not?" Dru asked.  
  
"I just don't feel like it," I snapped. I turned to Dad. "May I be excused?" I asked.  
  
"Sure," he said.  
  
I got up and went to my room. Five minutes later, Dru came into my room.  
  
"Go away," I said angrily.  
  
"No," she said.  
  
She sat on the bed next to me. I was reading Anne of Green Gables. I glared at her. She didn't move.  
  
"Why didn't you eat dinner?" she asked. "The truth this time."  
  
I looked at her. She seemed more mature than most girls her age. I guess it had to do with her parents' divorce. My anger faded away. I sighed and sat up. Dru looked at me, waiting. I told her the story.  
  
When I was done, Dru looked very angry.  
  
"I can't believe they got so upset," she said. "I hate Kristy. She's so mean."  
  
I felt a little bit better. I knew I could count on my cousin. I gave her a hug.  
  
"Thanks, Dru," I said. "For listening."  
  
She smiled and patted my shoulder. "You're welcome, cous," she said. "Love you."  
  
I smiled back. "Love you, too," I said.  
  
She left. I went back to reading. Around ten, I got ready for bed. Dad came in and kissed me good night.  
  
I laid awake most of the night, staring into the darkness. It was awhile before I fell asleep. I dreaded the next day.  
  
  
  
The rest of the week went by slowly. I had trouble sleeping at night. Which meant I fell asleep in class. One time, Cary had to shake me awake. I couldn't eat either. I knew my family was worried about me, but they didn't say anything. Finally, Friday night came. I decided on my floral-print blouse and my dark pink miniskirt. I also wore pink pantyhose and dark pink cowboy boots.  
  
I was putting on my locket and hoop earrings when the doorbell rang. I grabbed my pink jacket. I ran down the stairs. Dad was talking to Logan.  
  
"Hi, Fi," Logan said.  
  
I waited for him to compliment me on my outfit. But he didn't. I kissed Dad good-bye. We walked toward Mrs. Bruno's car.  
  
"Nine o'clock, Fi!" Dad called.  
  
I turned around and waved, letting him know I heard him. Logan opened the car door. I expected him to let me go into the car first, but he got in first instead. I mentally sighed. He didn't seem very polite.  
  
Mrs. Bruno dropped us off. We got a table and sat down. I looked at the menu. I didn't feel like eating, but I didn't want Logan to think I was weird for not eating. I decided on a cheeseburger. A waiter came.  
  
"Hi, Logan," he said. "What's up?"  
  
The waiter and Logan talked for awhile. I tapped my foot impatiently. They talked about track.  
  
Finally, the waiter said, "What would you like to eat?"  
  
I opened my mouth to speak. But Logan spoke instead.  
  
"We'll have two cheeseburgers and two Cokes," he said.  
  
The waiter wrote it down. He took the menus and left. Logan looked at me.  
  
"Is that okay with you?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. "That's fine," I lied.  
  
It upsetted me that he did the same thing to me what he did to Mary Anne. I know that I was going to order that anyway, but it sill hurt. Soon our food came. I forced myself to eat. We talked about our report.  
  
"We did a good job," he said. "An A-plus."  
  
I nodded. Suddenly, I felt nauseous. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall. I got on my knees. I began to vomit. By the time I was done, I was sweaty and my stomach hurt like crazy. I made sure I wasn't going to vomit anymore before flushing the toilet. I got out of the stall. I moped my face with a wet towel. I rinsed my mouth out. I took out a breath mint out of my purse and popped it into my mouth. I went back to our table.  
  
Logan was talking to another guy who worked at Rosebud. The guy got up to let me sit down. He pulled up a chair. They started talking again. I looked around the café. The bell above the door to the café rang. Claudia and a boy came in. I guessed he was Alan Gray, a guy she went to a dance once with. I touched Logan's arm. He looked at me.  
  
"Can we go now, Logan?" I asked.  
  
Logan looked at me, confused. Then he noticed Claudia. She had seen us and was giving us evil looks. He nodded. He said good-bye to his friend. We left, passing by Claudia's table. Logan went to the pay phone. He called his mother. Five minutes later, she picked us up.  
  
We got to my house around nine. I wanted Logan to walk me to the door. He did. We stood on my porch.  
  
"I had a nice time," I lied.  
  
He smiled. "So did I," he said.  
  
He leaned forward. I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine. Chills ran down my spine, making me shiver. We kissed good night. He pulled away and looked at me. He smiled again.  
  
"I'll see you on Monday," he said.  
  
"Okay," I said. "Bye."  
  
He walked to the car. I watched as they drove out of sight.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
  
  
Next week came and went. I still didn't eat. The only thing that changed was that I could sleep at night. But I got tired easily. I had trouble in gym. I took naps during the day. I was miserable. Dad thought I was sick. He let me stay home on Wednesday. I slept most of the time. I watched TV. I skipped breakfast and lunch.  
  
Soon Dru came home from school. She kept me company. Around the time I usually came home from school, the doorbell rang. Dru went to answer the door. I felt too weak.  
  
Dru came into the room. "There's a guy at the door," she said. "He said he's a friend from school."  
  
It was a good thing I had gotten dressed. I thought it was Logan. I quickly brushed my hair. "Okay," I said. "I'm ready."  
  
Dru nodded. She left the room. But the person who came into the living room wasn't Logan. It was Cary! He carried a bouquet of flowers.  
  
Dru went to her room, saying, "Call me if you need me."  
  
I looked at Cary. He looked uncomfortable. He looked at his feet. I've never seen him so nervous.  
  
"What brings you here?" I asked.  
  
"I'd heard that you were sick," he said. "I thought I'd see how you're doing."  
  
"I'm doing fine," I said. "Thanks for coming."  
  
He blushed! I bit back a smile. He handed me the flowers. They smelled nice.  
  
"Thanks for the flowers," I said.  
  
"I thought they'd cheer you up," he said.  
  
"They did," I said. "Thanks again."  
  
He smiled. He looked down at his hands. I remember how I snapped at him two weeks ago. I regretted it.  
  
"Cary," I said. "I'm sorry about what I said weeks ago. I shouldn't have said it."  
  
He shrugged off my apology. "I deserved it," he said. "I've been a pain in the neck as long as I can remember. I'm like that because I want to make life exciting."  
  
"I can admit that you do," I said, smiling.  
  
He smiled back. "Do you like Logan?" he asked.  
  
"I thought I did," I admitted. "Now I'm not so sure."  
  
He sat next to me. "Why not?" he asked.  
  
"He's treating me the way he did Mary Anne," I said.  
  
He hesitated before taking my hand. I looked at him in surprise. He looked at me in concern.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked.  
  
I shook my head. Tears ran down my face. He put his arm around me. I put my head on his shoulder. I cried for awhile. He gave me a tissue. I wiped my tears.  
  
"Fi?" he said.  
  
I looked up at him. His mouth came down on mine. He kissed me softly. He pulled away. My eyes opened. I looked at him in surprise. He looked surprised himself. I thought I would feel guilty and I did. I felt very guilty. Cary also looked guilty.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have done that. I think I should leave."  
  
I didn't say anything. I was still stunned by the kiss. What possessed me to let him kiss me? He left.  
  
At the end of the day, I felt even more miserable. I had hoped Logan would at least call me. He knew I was sick. By the time I went to bed, Logan had not called or came over.  
  
He doesn't care about you, a vice in my head said.  
  
Then why did he ask me out? I wondered. We had been on two dates. The last one was the same as the first. I sighed. I didn't know what to do.  
  
  
  
I went to school the next day. Logan was waiting for me at my locker. He kissed my cheek. "I missed you yesterday," he said.  
  
Yeah, right, I thought. I forced a smile. He leaned forward. He kissed me. He looked over my shoulder. I turned around. Mary Anne was standing a little down the hall, staring at us. I turned back to Logan. He had a smug smile on his face. I suddenly wondered if he was just dating me to make Mary Anne jealous. I had a bad feeling in my stomach.  
  
Five minutes later, the bell rang. Hand in hand, Logan walked me to homeroom. He kissed me good-bye and went to his homeroom. I sat at my desk. I sighed and buried my face against my arms. I rested my eyes. I ended up falling asleep. Ms. Levine shook me awake.  
  
"Are you feeling all right, Fiona?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," I lied.  
  
The bell rang. Ms. Levine asked me to stay after class. "Have you been getting enough sleep at night?" she said.  
  
"Yeah," I lied again. "I just didn't get much sleep last night."  
  
"Do you want to go to the nurse?" she asked.  
  
I shook my head. "I'll be fine, Ms. Levine," I said.  
  
"Okay," she said doubtfully.  
  
I got up and went to gym. We were running laps when I felt out of breath. I stopped to catch it. Erica Blumberg, one of Claudia's friends, stopped beside me. She looked at me in concern.  
  
"Are you all right, Fi?" she asked.  
  
"I'm fine," I panted. "Just out of breath."  
  
She gave me a weird look. She was breathing just fine. "Are you sure?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. "I'll get my breath back in a minute," I said.  
  
She raised an eyebrow. She didn't say anything. She started running again. I caught my breath and started running. I was on my fourth lap when Mrs. Rosenauer blew her whistle. We went to the locker room. I was sweating and panting again. I quickly changed. The bell rang, ending the period. I went to social studies.  
  
Half of me dreaded seeing Cary. The other half couldn't wait. I was so confused. Do I still like Logan? Or do I suddenly like Cary? Does Cary like me?  
  
Duh, a voice in my head said. Of course he does. He wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't.  
  
I went into the room. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Cary. He looked cute in jeans and a green sweater. That stopped me. I think that Cary, the guy who I had detested all my life, was cute? If Jamie knew about this, she'd think I was nuts. Maybe I am.  
  
Cary looked up and saw me. He quickly turned away. He told me later that he was still embarrassed about yesterday. I sat down in my desk. I tried not to look at him throughout the period. Once in awhile I would catch myself looking at him out of the corner of my eye. I sighed silently. I couldn't concentrate on what Ms. Vandela was saying about World War II. Instead I thought about Cary and our kiss. I doodled on my notebook.  
  
I looked down. I had written Cary's name all over the paper. They also had hearts around them. My eyes darted to Cary. He was looking at me! When he noticed that I was looking at him, he looked away. I hoped he didn't notice what I did on my paper. I quickly took out another piece of paper and covered my doodling. I tried to concentrate. I managed to take some notes.  
  
It seemed forever until the bell rang. I got out of the room as quickly as I could. Logan was waiting for me outside the door. He came up to me and put his arm around my shoulders. Before I knew what I was doing, I looked over my shoulder. Cary was looking after us with jealousy in his eyes. Did Cary like me after all?  
  
  
  
When I got home, a bouquet of roses were on the kitchen table. I put down my stuff. I went over to the table and smelled them. I loved roses. Grandmama came into the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, sweetheart," she said. "Those roses came today. The delivery man came while you were at school."  
  
Grandmama went into the living room. I noticed a card. I opened the envelope and pulled out a small white card. I read it. Then I read it again. I stared at the card in my hand in disbelief.  
  
Fi,  
  
I was worried when you didn't show up at school. I hope you're all right. I try not to think of the worse. I hope you feel better. And I hope these roses show you how much I care about you. I like you a lot.  
  
Logan  
  
I couldn't believe it. The smug smile on Logan's face when Mary Anne saw us kiss flashed through my mind. Had I misread what was in that smile? I flopped into a chair. I stared at the roses. Warmth spread through me. My "crush" on Cary faded. I knew I was meant to be with Logan. I smiled. I got the phone book and looked up Logan's phone number. I wrote it down. I picked up the receiver and dialed his number.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
  
  
"Hello?"  
  
My heart leaped when I heard his voice. "Hi, it's me," I said.  
  
"Fi!" he said. "Hi."  
  
"I got your flowers," I said shyly.  
  
"That's great," he said. "I wanted to call you then, but I had track practice."  
  
"That's all right," I said. I cleared my throat. "Logan, I have something to tell you."  
  
"What?" he asked, sounding scared.  
  
"Cary Retlin came over yesterday," I said. "W—we kissed."  
  
"You did?" he said quietly.  
  
"Yeah," I said. "But it didn't mean anything."  
  
"It didn't?" he said.  
  
"No," I said. "I want to be with you. Not him."  
  
"I want to believe you," he said.  
  
"You don't?" I asked, tears stinging my eyes.  
  
"I don't know what to believe," he said.  
  
"Logan," I pleaded, "please believe me. Cary's kiss meant nothing. I regret letting him kiss me."  
  
Logan sighed. Deafening silence hung in the air. Tears streamed down my face. Please say something, I pleaded with him silently. Please say you believe me. Finally, he spoke.  
  
"When Mary Anne and I went out," he said, "she never thought about kissing another guy."  
  
That caught me by surprise. "Please don't compare me to her," I said. "I'm not Mary Anne."  
  
"I'm sorry, Fi," he said. "But I can't continue this relationship knowing that you kissed another guy. I'm breaking up with you." He hung up on me.  
  
I stared at the receiver. I slowly put it down. I looked at the flowers. I thought about throwing them out. But I didn't want to waste beautiful roses. I just threw out the card. I went up to my room and shut the door. I flung myself onto the bed. Sobs soon overcame me. I cried until my eyes could shed no more tears. I sat up. I took my diary out of the nightstand drawer. I grabbed a pen. I began writing.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Logan broke up with me. I had told him about Cary's kiss. He got mad and broke up with me. I feel as though the world has ended. I don't know what I'm going to do. I have no boyfriend, no friends. I feel even more miserable than before. (I didn't think it was possible.) I don't think I can go to school tomorrow.  
  
As I was writing, Dad came home. He came into my room. "I saw the roses on the kitchen table," he said. "Who are they from?"  
  
"Lo-Logan," I said.  
  
I burst out crying. Dad wrapped his arms around me. Between sobs, I told him the story. He stroked my hair.  
  
"I don't want to go to school tomorrow," I cried.  
  
"You're going to have to face him sometime," he pointed out.  
  
"I know," I said, sighing.  
  
I wiped my tears and sat up. He brushed my hair away from my face. He kissed my cheek. I forced a smile.  
  
"Try to be brave, Ocean," he said. "You'll get over it in time."  
  
I hope you're right, Dad, I thought. I nodded. He smiled.  
  
"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes," he said.  
  
I nodded. He left my room. I put my diary away. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was so tired from crying that I fell asleep.  
  
  
  
I was at my locker the next day when Cary came up to me. He leaned against the locker next to mine. He handed me a single white rose. I looked at him in surprise. He looked at the ground and then at me. He looked uncomfortable.  
  
"I heard that Logan broke up with you," he said. "Did you tell him about our kiss?"  
  
I nodded. He grimaced.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said. "I never meant to kiss you. I've had feelings for you for a long time. I never told you because I figured that you didn't like me back. That you'd rather eat your homework than date me."  
  
I listened with my mouth open. I never knew that he had feelings for me. I thought he'd just wanted to bug me. He stopped talking and looked sheepishly at me.  
  
"Anyway," he said. "I'm sorry that Logan broke up with you because of me."  
  
He walked away. I stared after him, shocked. Mary Anne came up to me. She looked uncomfortable. I turned a cold shoulder and ignored her while I got my books. I put them in my backpack. She sighed heavily.  
  
"Listen, Fi," she said. "I know that you hate me right now. But I feel that I have to talk to you. I'm sorry that the BSC got so upset when they heard you were dating Logan. They think that I would be hurt. Truth is that I'm happy for you. Logan and I are history. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything when they talked to you. I hate confrontations. Well, anyway. I just want to let you know that I don't care if you date Logan."  
  
I felt my anger melt away. "Well, they don't have to worry about my dating Logan," I said. "He broke up with me yesterday."  
  
Mary Anne gasped. "Why?" she said.  
  
"Well, the day I was sick," I explained, "Cary Retlin came over to my house. I knew him back before he moved here. Our fathers were bestfriends. Anyway, Cary and I kissed. I told Logan. He got upset and broke up with me."  
  
"I'm sorry, Fi," she said.  
  
I forced a smile. "I'm okay," I said.  
  
She hugged me. We talked some more before the bell rang. We went our separate ways for homeroom. I felt a little better about today. I sat down in my desk. I wondered if the other BSC members knew that Logan and I broke up. I figured not because Mary Anne didn't know until I told her. I wish they knew. I missed having friends.  
  
  
  
At lunch I had nowhere to sit. The BSC members were still mad at me and Logan was sitting with his friends. I sighed. I decided to go to the library. I read a book. I didn't eat lunch. Finally, the bell rang. The day went slowly. I couldn't wait for the day to be over. Even though I knew Mary Anne wasn't mad at me, I was still miserable. Everybody else was mad at me. They should have heard that Logan and I weren't dating anymore.  
  
I didn't know what I was going to do. My life was miserable. I haven't eaten in two months. Once in awhile I was able to sleep. I tired easily. I felt as if my world lay in a crumble at my feet. I didn't know how to put it back together again. I began noticing that I lost weight. I wondered if I was becoming anorexic. I tried eating, but I ended up vomiting the food. My grades were slipping. I haven't being doing my homework.  
  
The day ended. I dragged myself home. I opened the door and dragged myself up the stairs. I collapsed onto my bed. I turned on my radio. I listened to it for awhile. The phone rang. I heard Dad pick it up.  
  
"Fi!" he called. "Phone."  
  
I dragged myself downstairs. I took the receiver from Dad. "Hello?" I said.  
  
"This is Cary," he said.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 10  
  
  
  
"Cary?" I said, surprised.  
  
"Yeah," he said sheepishly.  
  
"What do you need?" I asked.  
  
"I know Logan and you only broke up yesterday," he said, "but I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime."  
  
I was speechless. I couldn't believe that Cary Retlin, the guy I thought I despised for years, just asked me out. I didn't know what to say.  
  
"Fi?" he said nervously.  
  
"Oh," I said. "I'm sorry, Cary. It's just that I don't know what to say. You took me by surprise."  
  
"Are you trying to tell me that you don't want to go out with me?" he asked.  
  
"It isn't that," I protested. "Of course I'll go out with you. When?"  
  
"Is tomorrow night okay with you?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," I said.  
  
"Okay," he said, sounding happy. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye," I said.  
  
"Bye," he said.  
  
We hung up. Dad looked at me, puzzled. I kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"That was Cary Retlin," I said. "He asked me if I would go out with him tomorrow night."  
  
Dad looked surprised. "He did?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. "And I said yes," I said.  
  
Dad looked more surprised. "You did?" he said.  
  
I smiled. He shook his head.  
  
"I've always thought you hated each other," he said. "Whenever he came over you'd run to Jamie's."  
  
"It's different now," I said. "We've grown up."  
  
"Yeah," Dad said sadly. "Indeed you have."  
  
I kissed him on the cheek again. "I'm still your little girl, Daddy," I said, trying to comfort him.  
  
He smiled. He hugged me. I called Abby and told her the news.  
  
"What?!" she said.  
  
"I'm going out with Cary Retlin," I repeated.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"I want to," I said. "He is kind of cute."  
  
"Cary Retlin?" she said in disbelief.  
  
I smiled. "Yup," I said.  
  
"I don't believe it," she said. "Ever since he moved here, he's been annoying the BSC. We thought he'd never stop. Maybe once he goes out with you, he'll ignore the BSC."  
  
"Yeah," I said softly, my excitement fading at the mention of my ex- friends.  
  
"They still mad at you?" she asked.  
  
"I don't understand it!" I said. "They just have to have heard of our breakup by now. I told Mary Anne."  
  
"You've talked to her?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," I said. "She told me that she didn't care if I dated Logan. I told her that we had broke up."  
  
"I don't know what's going on," she said. "Every time I bring you up, they change the subject."  
  
"I don't think they'll ever forgive me," I said. I sighed.  
  
"Hang in there, Fi," she said. "Sooner or later they'll realize what a big mistake they made."  
  
"Don't count on it," I said bitterly. "I know I don't."  
  
We talked a little bit more. I hung up for dinner. I ate some casserole and managed to keep it down. It gave me hope. I went into the bathroom and weighed myself. My hope died. I stared at the scale in disbelief. It said that I weighed eighty pounds. I began to shake. I couldn't believe it. I was very underweight. I went to my room and sat on my bed.  
  
I was numb. I couldn't feel anything. What was happening to me? Why couldn't I eat? Why did I have trouble sleeping? I remember when my life went downward. It was the day the BSC stopped being my friends just because I was going to date Logan.  
  
I didn't know who to talk to. I couldn't tell anyone. I had no one to talk to. I was on my own. I lay on my bed and sobbed.  
  
  
  
I woke up the next morning feeling groggy. I felt as if I cried all night. I forced myself to get out of bed. I took a shower to wake me. I got dressed. I put on jeans, purple tank top, and a white buttoned sweater. I buttoned all but the four top buttons. I brushed my hair. I skipped breakfast. I walked to my bus stop. Kristy was there.  
  
"Mary Anne told me what happened between Logan and you," she said, surprising me. "I'm sorry. All of us are sorry. We shouldn't have gotten mad. We thought Mary Anne would be hurt. We didn't realize that she's over him. We shouldn't have told you who you can or can't date. That was wrong of us. Would you please come back to the BSC? We kind of need you."  
  
I smiled. That was a big compliment coming from Kristy. "Sure," I said.  
  
She punched me lightly on the arm. I wanted to hug her, but didn't want to scare her. Besides I'm too shy to do that so instead I returned her punch. She smiled. Abby came up to us.  
  
"Glad to see you friends again," she said.  
  
"Thanks for sticking with me," I told her.  
  
She put her arm around my shoulders. "No problem," she said.  
  
Kristy looked at me. "You look thinner than I remember," she said.  
  
"I've been having eating problems," I admitted.  
  
Abby and Kristy frowned. I know they wanted to say something, but the bus came. I sighed in relief. I didn't want a lecture from them. I figured that since I had my friends back, my appetite would come back. Boy was I wrong!  
  
  
  
I felt a little better about today. I had my friends back and a date with Cary. When I told my friends, they were surprised. They decided that maybe he wasn't such a pain after all. He did it to get attention. When I went to social studies, a bouquet of several different flowers was on my desk. I looked at Cary. He blushed. I knew they were from him. I kissed his cheek. It made him blush even harder. I thought he looked cute. I buried my nose in the flowers and breathed deeply. They smelled so nice.  
  
The period ended quickly. Cary and I held hands as we walked out of the room. I saw Logan walking toward us. He stopped. He looked at Cary and me. Sadness flickered across his face. Then he looked angry. He glared at Cary and walked past us. Sadness washed over me. It took me by surprise. Cary squeezed my hand. I forced a smile. We walked to my next period class. Before the bell rang, he kissed me good-bye and left.  
  
This period was English. I tried not to look at Logan. But I noticed that he kept looking at the flowers. I had them on my desk. I put them on the floor. He glanced at me. He had a hurt expression on his face. I suddenly felt like crying. I wondered if I didn't tell Logan about Cary's kiss, we'd still be going out. But he treated me the same way he did Mary Anne before they broke up. At dinner he would order my food for me. I wondered if he knew it. Maybe he didn't notice it.  
  
I tried to concentrate on something else. I thought about my date with Cary tonight. I wasn't as excited as I was before. I sighed. I wish my life wasn't so complicated.  
  
  
  
The day lasted forever. Or at least that's what it felt like. I couldn't stop seeing Logan's hurt expression. It haunted me. Did I still have feeling for him? I thought that when I got those roses from Logan, before we broke up, my crush on Cary had faded. Did it? I sighed and flopped onto my bed. I bit my lip.  
  
I laid on my bed for awhile. I looked at the clock. It was six-ten. Cary was going to pick me up at six-thirty. I decided to wear jeans, a white long-sleeved blouse, and a black vest. I fixed my make-up.  
  
The doorbell rang. I grabbed my jacket. I went down the stairs. Dad was talking to Mr. Retlin. I didn't see Cary.  
  
"Hi, Mr. Retlin," I said. "Where's Cary?"  
  
"He's in the car," Mr. Retlin said.  
  
I frowned. When Logan picked me up, at least he came to the door. Mr. Retlin looked at me.  
  
"Ready?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. We walked out to the car. I got in the back. Cary stayed up front. I wanted to scream in frustration. Logan started to look good compared to Cary. At least Logan had some manners! We went to Rosebud Café, much to my dismay.  
  
We got a table and sat down. I looked around for Logan. I didn't want to see the expression on his face when he saw me with Cary. I didn't see him. I looked at the menu.  
  
"May I take your order?"  
  
Chapter 11  
  
  
  
I looked up. My mouth nearly dropped open. Logan was our waiter!  
  
I wanted to cry. He had a stony expression on his face. Cary told him his order. Logan looked at me.  
  
"I'll have a salad," I said. I looked at the menu. I didn't want to look at him.  
  
He wrote it down. He left our table. Cary looked at me.  
  
"Good thing you got a salad," he said. "You look like you've put on weight."  
  
I wanted to hit him. Suddenly I wished Logan and I never broke up. I wished none of this had ever happened. I sighed. Cary didn't notice that I wasn't happy. Soon Logan came with our food. Cary dug right in. I ate more slowly. We didn't talk at all. I stared at my watch. The night seemed to last forever.  
  
After I ate, I felt like vomiting. I excused myself. But I doubt Cary heard me. (By this time, a guy from school came over and started talking to him.) I went into the bathroom and into a stall. I started vomiting. After I was done, I flushed the toilet.  
  
I stood up unsteadily. My body swayed slightly. I unlocked the stall door and stepped out. I stumbled to the bathroom sink. I looked at myself in the mirror. Sweat glistened on my face and I was pale. My eyes looked like a dull blue-green. I looked horrible.  
  
Stacey came into the bathroom. She stared at me. I turned toward her. My grip on the sink broke and I collapsed.  
  
She rushed forward. She caught me before I hit the floor. She helped me sit on the floor. She leaned me against the wall. I sighed and leaned my head back. She looked at me worriedly.  
  
"What's going on?" she asked. "Why are you so thin?"  
  
"You've noticed?" I asked.  
  
She nodded. I was surprised. I didn't think anybody noticed besides Kristy and Abby.  
  
"How long has this been going on?" she asked.  
  
"Ever since we got into a fight," I said. "I just lost my appetite."  
  
"This is dangerous," she said. "You need to eat."  
  
"If I do," I said, "I'll only throw it up. There's only been one time I managed to keep my food down."  
  
"Does anybody know what's happening?" she asked.  
  
"Kristy and Abby," I said. "Well, they kind of know."  
  
"It can't go on," she said. "You need to see a doctor. And tell your father."  
  
"I will," I said.  
  
"Promise?" she said, not believing me.  
  
I smiled. "Promise," I said.  
  
She relaxed. We sat for awhile. Then she helped me up. We walked out of the bathroom. Logan rushed toward us. He looked very worried.  
  
"Is everything all right?" he asked. "When you were in the bathroom for a long time, I got worried."  
  
Suddenly I felt happy. Logan still cared about me. I nodded.  
  
"Everything is fine," I said.  
  
He looked as if he didn't believe me. I moved toward him. I hugged him.  
  
"I'm sorry about Cary," I said. "I made a mistake. I like you a lot, Logan. Please forgive me." Tears ran down my face.  
  
He pulled away and wiped my tears. He smiled. "I forgive you," he said. He kissed me softly.  
  
Cary came marching up to us, looking angry. He looked at Logan. "Get away from my girl," he demanded.  
  
Logan shook his head. "She's my girl," he said.  
  
"You had your chance with her," Cary said. "And you blew it."  
  
"I'm getting a second chance," Logan said.  
  
Cary looked at me. "Is he telling the truth?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. "I'm sorry, Cary," I said.  
  
"Not as sorry as you're going to be," Cary said. He turned and walked out the door.  
  
Logan started after him. I caught his arm. I could tell that he was angry at what Cary said.  
  
"Let him go," I said. "He was just angry. He didn't mean it."  
  
Logan looked defeated. I put my arm around his waist. He put his arm around mine.  
  
"When do you get off work?" I asked.  
  
"In an hour," he said.  
  
"I don't have a ride home," I said.  
  
"I'll take you home," he said. "Just wait an hour."  
  
I nodded. I couldn't get Cary's words out of my mind. Logan tipped my chin up. He looked in my eyes.  
  
"Don't worry about him," he said.  
  
"I won't," I said.  
  
He kissed me. He went back to work. I sat at an empty table. I watched Logan as he cleaned off tables.  
  
He turned and caught me looking at him. He flashed me a dimpled smile. My heart stopped. I smiled back. Stacey cleared her throat. I was startled. I had forgotten that she was still here. I looked at her.  
  
"Look, Fi," she said. "I'm sorry about the fight. I should have defended you. I betrayed you. And for that I'm really sorry. Will you forgive me?"  
  
I nodded, unable to speak. Tears filled my eyes again. We hugged. I took two tissues out of my purse and handed one to her. She was also crying. I wiped my tears. I felt that this was the best night of my life.  
  
  
  
An hour later, Logan's shift was over. Stacey had left five minutes earlier. Logan called home for a ride. Mr. Bruno came and he gave me a ride home.  
  
When I got home, I found Dad waiting up for me. I shut the door and hung up my coat. I kissed his cheek.  
  
"Did you have fun?" he asked.  
  
I told him what happened, leaving out the scene in the bathroom. He took my hand and squeezed it. I sat down next to him. I decided to tell him now about my eating disorder. I looked at him.  
  
"Dad," I said, "there's something I have to tell you."  
  
I told him about the last three months. When I finished, there was a deafening silence. I nervously waited for him to say something. I was afraid of what he would say.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he finally asked.  
  
I shrugged. Tears gathered in my eyes. "I couldn't find a way," I said. "I don't think I really realized what was happening. When I did, it was too late."  
  
Dad gathered me to him. I laid my head against his chest. I cried for the third time tonight. It felt good to get it off my chest.  
  
"I'll make an appointment with your doctor tomorrow," he said. "We'll find out what can be done."  
  
I nodded. My tears slowly subsided. Dad handed me a tissue. I pulled away. I wiped my face.  
  
"We'll get through this," he said.  
  
"Okay," I said, sniffling.  
  
He brushed my hair back. I smiled. I kissed him good night. I went upstairs to my bedroom. I sat on my bed and wrote in my diary about tonight. It ended up being three pages long. That was the most I've written.  
  
I put it away. I got ready for bed. I turned off the light. I laid on my bed. I was so exhausted from crying that I fell asleep right away.  
  
  
  
The next day, I woke up feeling refreshed. I got dressed and went downstairs. Grandmama was at the stove, cooking breakfast. I went over to her and looked into the skillet. She was making pancakes. Dad was on the phone.  
  
He hung up, writing something down. He looked at me. "I got you an appointment for today," he said. "All right?"  
  
As it happened, the family doctor moved her practice to Stoneybrook.  
  
I nodded. "What time?" I asked.  
  
"Noon," he said.  
  
"Okay," I said.  
  
Grandmama put a plate of pancakes on the table. I sat down and began eating. Dad watched me like a hawk. I managed to eat four pancakes without vomiting. Pride swelled inside me. Maybe I was on my way to recovery. I looked at Dad. He smiled. He was as pleased as I was. Deep down I was afraid that I would never recover. That fear faded away.  
  
The doorbell rang and went to answer it. Kristy stood on the front porch. I was surprised.  
  
"Oh, hi, Kristy," I said. "Come in."  
  
She came in. I shut the door. I looked at her.  
  
"What a surprise," I said. "What's up?"  
  
"Stacey told me about last night," she said.  
  
My eyes widened and swallowed hard. I waited for the yelling.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 12  
  
  
  
The yelling never came. Instead she said, "Are you all right?"  
  
I nodded. "I talked to my father about my problem," I said. "I'm going to see my doctor at noon."  
  
She relaxed. I had noticed that her shoulders were tense.  
  
"That's good," she said.  
  
Dad came into the room. I introduced her to him. They shook hands.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Kristy," Dad said.  
  
"Same here, Mr. Foley," Kristy said.  
  
We went up to my room. I sat on my bed. She looked at my pictures. She picked up a frame.  
  
"Is this your mother?" she asked, showing the picture.  
  
I looked at it. I nodded. "Isn't she pretty?" I asked.  
  
She nodded and put the frame down. She sat in my desk chair. She looked at me. "Was our fight the cause of the problem?" she asked.  
  
"It was a lot of things," I said. "The fight triggered it. My break up with Logan didn't help."  
  
She frowned. "Are you going to get better?" she asked.  
  
"I think so," I said. "I did manage to eat my breakfast without vomiting." I smiled.  
  
She forced a smile. "I hope you get better," she said. "I wouldn't want to lose a friend."  
  
"Thanks, Kristy," I said, tears gathering in my eyes. "That means a lot to me coming from you."  
  
She blushed. We talked for awhile before Dad came into my room and said that we had to leave. Kristy wished me good luck. She left.  
  
Dad and I got into the car. As we got nearer to Dr. Louis's office, I felt more and more nervous. I was afraid of what she would say. I was afraid that she would say that nothing could be done. Tears threatened to fill my eyes.  
  
  
  
I sat in a chair, looking down at my hands in my lap while Dad talked to Dr. Louis. I half listened to what was being said. It seemed to me that I had been here forever.  
  
I looked at the clock on the wall. I had only been here ten minutes. I fiddled with my charm bracelet and sighed heavily. Dr. Louis listened intently to Dad. She didn't say a word.  
  
"So," he said, finishing his story. "What can be done?"  
  
"I think she's suffering from anorexia," she said.  
  
Dr. Louis weighed me on a scale. It said that I weighed seventy-six pounds. I felt like crying. Dr. Louis turned to me.  
  
"You lost a lot of weight over the three months," she said. "Do you think there's any way you can eat food and keep it down?"  
  
I nodded. "I think so," I said.  
  
"Well," she said, "I'm going to prescribe some medicine that will help you keep your food down. I want you to take one everytime you eat. Understand?"  
  
I nodded. I fought back my tears. After she wrote out the prescription, Dad made another appointment. Then we left.  
  
  
  
When we got home, Dad called Liz to tell her what was going on. Liz left the kids with Paul and quickly came over. As soon as I opened the door, she rushed in to hug me. Tears streamed down her face. She hugged me fiercely.  
  
"My poor baby sister," she cried.  
  
Having her cry made me cry. Soon we were both crying together. Liz didn't let me go for a long time. Finally, she did and we wiped our faces. Liz took my hand and squeezed it. I smiled weakly. We sat on the couch.  
  
"What are we going to do?" Liz asked Dad.  
  
"We're going to make sure she eats everything on her plate," Dad said. "She's going to take pills to help her digest and not throw up her food."  
  
Suddenly, I felt emotionally exhausted. I wanted to go up to my room and curl into a ball on my bed. Dad must have known what I was feeling because he patted my hand.  
  
"Why don't you take a nap?" he said. "You look tired."  
  
I nodded. I went upstairs to my room. I laid down on my bed. I was exhausted, but I didn't fall asleep right away. I just stared at the ceiling for awhile. I turned onto my side and looked at my mother's picture. Slowly, I fell asleep.  
  
  
  
During the two hours I slept, Kristy, Abby, and Mary Anne called. Kristy called twice. I decided to call her back first. She picked up on the second ring.  
  
"Hello?" She sounded a little bit breathless.  
  
"Hey, Kristy," I said. "What's up?"  
  
"What did the doctor say?" she asked.  
  
"I'm suffering from anorexia," I said.  
  
She let out a breath I didn't know she was holding. "How are you going to treat it?" she asked.  
  
"By taking pills that will help me digest my food," I said. "Hopefully that will help me eat and gain weight."  
  
"That's good," she said. "That means it's treatable."  
  
"Yeah," I said. "It does."  
  
"I'm glad," she said.  
  
I smiled. It was good to have my friends back. She and I talked for awhile. Then I hung up with her. I called Mary Anne. She answered on the fourth ring. I was about to hang up when she answered.  
  
"Mary Anne?"  
  
"Oh, hi, Fi. I just got in the door. I was baby-sitting the Hills."  
  
"How are they?"  
  
"Fine. How are you? Kristy called and told me you went to the doctor's."  
  
"Yeah. I went after lunch."  
  
"What did the doctor say?"  
  
"I'm anorexic."  
  
She gasped. "When did this start?"  
  
"The day of the fight."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Fi."  
  
"It's okay. The good news that it can be treated."  
  
"That's good. How long will it take to gain all your weight back?"  
  
"I don't know. Soon I hope."  
  
"I hope so, too."  
  
"Thanks, Mary Anne."  
  
"That's what friends are for. You can come talk to me anytime. Just call."  
  
I felt tears spring in my eyes. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. We talked for awhile. The phone began to make a clicking noise.  
  
"Mary Anne," I said, "I have another phone call. I got to go."  
  
"Okay," she said. "Call me whenever you need to talk."  
  
"I will," I said. "Thanks again."  
  
I clicked over. It was Logan. My heart fluttered when I heard his voice. "Hi, Logan," I said.  
  
"I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me tonight," he said. "We could go to the movies."  
  
"Sure," I said. "Just let me make sure it's all right with my dad."  
  
"Okay," he said.  
  
After I checked with Dad, I picked up the receiver. "Yeah," I told Logan. "I can go."  
  
"I'll pick you up at six," he said.  
  
"All right," I said. "See you then."  
  
"I can't wait to see you," he said. "Bye."  
  
"Bye," I said.  
  
We hung up. I went up to my room to figure out what to wear. I decided on a striped jersey top, a pink miniskirt, white pantyhose, and blue shoes. I put on my outfit. I checked myself in the mirror. I redid my make-up. Then I was satisfied that I looked good. I went downstairs and into the kitchen. Grandmama was sitting dinner on the table.  
  
"Going somewhere tonight, Fi?" she asked.  
  
I nodded. "Logan is taking me to the movies," I said.  
  
"What are you going to see?" she said.  
  
"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "He didn't say. I guess we'll decided when we get there."  
  
"Do you want something to eat before you go?" she said.  
  
I looked at the clock. I had forty-five minutes before Logan would came. My stomach growled. I laughed. "Sure," I said.  
  
Dad came in with my medicine. He had just gone to get it. I took a pill. I finished eating just as the doorbell rang. Dad went to answer it as I quickly checked myself in a mirror. I still looked great. I went into the hall. Logan was talking to Dad. He smiled when he saw me.  
  
"Ready to go?" he asked.  
  
I nodded. He held open the door for me. I smiled at him. We sat in the backseat together. We held hands.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 13  
  
  
  
When we got to the movie theater, we had to decide which movie to watch. I wanted to see Lovelocked. Mary Anne and Claudia had seen it and they recommended it. Logan wanted to see an action film. We ended up deciding to go see my movie. I knew Logan wasn't happy about it. So I decided that next time we went to the movies, we would see what he wanted.  
  
We got popcorn and decided to share a drink. We found seats toward the middle. We waited for the movie to start. I looked at Logan.  
  
"I'm sorry that I picked a movie you didn't want to see," I said.  
  
He put his arm around my shoulders. "That's okay," he said. "Next time I'll pick the movie. We'll trade off."  
  
I smiled. "Okay," I said. I put my head on his shoulder.  
  
Soon the movie started. It was a real tearjerker. When I started crying, Logan handed me a tissue. I started shivering. It was cold inside the theater. He noticed this and gave me his jacket. I smiled at him. I put it on and laid my head back on his shoulder. He rubbed my arm. Soon I didn't feel so cold. I snuggled closer to him.  
  
He bent his head. "Still cold?" he whispered in my ear.  
  
I shook my head. "I feel a little bit warmer," I said.  
  
An hour later, the movie ended. We went to Rosebud Café because Logan didn't have dinner. He offered me a bite of his food but I turned it down. He put down his fork and looked at me.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked.  
  
"I'm not hungry," I said.  
  
"Why were you in the bathroom a long time the other day?" he asked.  
  
I looked at the table. "I was throwing up," I said.  
  
He reached across the table and took my hand. "Are you sick?" he said, concern in his eyes.  
  
I wanted to tell him the truth, I really did. But I was afraid that he'd break up with me again. I wasn't sure how he would take it. I was so afraid to lose him. But what if I lied to him and he found out? I would definitely lose him for sure. I bit my lip. I didn't know what to do.  
  
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he said. He pulled his hand away.  
  
I could tell by the expression on his face that he was hurt. I took his hand. "I'm anorexic," I said.  
  
His eyes widened in surprise. "When did this happen?" he asked.  
  
"It started when I got into that fight with the BSC," I said.  
  
"I bet me breaking up with you made it worse," he said bitterly.  
  
I squeezed his hand. He forced a smile. He pushed the plate of food away.  
  
"Suddenly I'm not so hungry," he said.  
  
He paid for the dinner he hardly ate and then called his dad. He didn't talk at all while we waited for his dad. I got more nervous with each passing second. I was afraid that he was going to break up with me. I clenched my hands together.  
  
Soon his dad came and picked us up. We both sat in the back. But he didn't hold my hand. I felt like crying. I couldn't wait for the car ride to end. It seemed to last forever. No one spoke.  
  
Mr. Bruno pulled into the driveway. Logan walked me to the door. I was surprised. I guess he didn't want his dad to think anything was wrong. I bit my lip to keep from crying. We walked up to the front porch. He stopped me before I went inside.  
  
"Have you been to the doctor?" he asked. "Is it treatable?"  
  
"Yes to both questions," I said.  
  
He relaxed. He took my hand. "We'll get through this," he said. "Together."  
  
Tears filled my eyes. I hugged him. He held me for a moment. I pulled away and wiped the tears from my face. He kissed me softly. We said good night and I went inside.  
  
I felt as if I was floating as I walked to the living room. Dad was in his chair, reading a newspaper. He put it down and looked at me.  
  
"Did you have a nice time, sweetheart?" he asked.  
  
I nodded, smiling. "I told Logan about my problem," I said.  
  
"What did he say?" he said.  
  
"He's going to stick by me," I said.  
  
He smiled. "That's good," he said. "I'm glad that you're dating him."  
  
"So am I," I said, still smiling.  
  
"Why don't you go to bed?" he said. "You look kind of tired."  
  
"Okay," I said. I kissed his cheek. "Good night."  
  
"Good night, Ocean," he said.  
  
I went up to my room. I got undressed and put on pajamas. I turned off my light. I climbed into bed. Suddenly, my eyelids felt heavy. I closed my eyed and fell asleep.  
  
  
  
The next morning, I woke up a little later than usual. I almost missed breakfast. Luckily Grandmama saved me a plate of scrambled eggs. I took a pill. I quickly ate. Then I went back upstairs to get dressed. The phone rang. I picked it up.  
  
"Hello?" I asked.  
  
"Hey, Fi. It's Claudia."  
  
"Oh, hey."  
  
"Stacey and I were wondering if you wanted to go shopping with us."  
  
"Let me ask my dad." I asked Dad. Then I went back to the phone. "Yeah, I can go."  
  
"Okay. My dad will come pick you up."  
  
"All right."  
  
When I hung up, the phone rang again. This time it was Logan. He wanted to hang out with me, but I told him that I was going shopping. In the back of my mind I was afraid that he would make me spend the day with him. Instead we made plans to spend next Saturday together. I smiled. I knew he wasn't going to treat me the way he treated Mary Anne before they broke up. I had a good feeling about our relationship.  
  
We talked awhile before Mr. Kishi pulled into our driveway. I said good-bye to Logan. I hung up. I told Dad that I was leaving. I grabbed my purse. I got into the car. We went to Washington Mall.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 14  
  
  
  
The first store we went to was Macys. I bought two pairs of bellbottoms and three tank tops. Dad had given me money to spend even though I had some from my birthday and Christmas. (My relatives don't know what to get me so they send money. I only get presents from Dad, Liz, and Grandmama.) Then we went to BookCenter. I wanted to get some Nancy Drew books. Claudia had gotten me hooked on them. She loves Nancy Drew.  
  
For lunch we went to Friendly's. I had a hamburger. Claudia also had one. Stacey had a salad. I looked at Stacey.  
  
"Do you ever miss eating candy?" I asked.  
  
"Sometimes," she said. "But I look on the bright side. I always keep my figure!"  
  
We laughed. After we ate, we went shopping for awhile longer. At five, Claudia called to have her father pick us up. We waited at the mall entrance. While we waited, one of Stacey's ex-boyfriends, Robert Brewster, came out of the mall and saw us. He came up to us. Stacey and he talked for awhile. Mr. Kishi drove up. Stacey and Robert said good-bye and we got into the car. I got home by dinner.  
  
I went upstairs to put my purchases in my room. Then I walked into the kitchen. I took my pill and sat down to eat. Grandmama said a quick prayer. Then we began to eat.  
  
"How was your day at the mall?" Dad asked.  
  
"It was great," I said. "I had a nice time."  
  
"What did you get?" Dru asked.  
  
I told her. I gave Dad the money I had left. He tried not to take it and I kept trying to give it to him.  
  
"Come on, Dad," I insisted. "Take the money. I don't need it. I'll get money when I baby-sit."  
  
"Are you sure, honey?" Dad asked.  
  
"Yeah," I said.  
  
He hesitated before putting the money in his pocket. I finished eating dinner. I excused myself. I went upstairs and put my new clothes away. I sat on my bed. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was a little bit fuller now. I took it as a good sign. I got up and went to the bathroom. I stepped onto the weight scale. It said that I gained five pounds. I guess that was good. But I had hoped I gained more than that.  
  
I tried to remind myself that it had been two days since I started eating again. I sighed and went back to my room. I wrote two pages in my diary. Then I got ready for bed. I was tired from walking all day. I laid down on my bed. I read a little of Little Women. At nine-thirty, I put my book away. I turned off the light and fell asleep.  
  
The next day, I had a baby-sitting job. It was for the Hobarts. They have four red haired boys, Ben, James, Matt and Johnny. Ben was the oldest at eleven. I didn't have to baby-sit him. I took the three boys to the park. Mary Anne was with the Newtons. They had a little boy, Jamie, and a baby girl, Lucy. Mary Anne and I sat against a tree trunk under the shade. Mary Anne let me feed Lucy her bottle.  
  
James came up to us. "Can we go home, Fi?" he asked. "Matt, Johnny, and I are hungry."  
  
"Okay," I said. I handed the sleeping Lucy to Mary Anne. We said good-bye and left.  
  
My job ended at one in the afternoon. Then I had to go to another job at the Arnolds' house. They had twin girls, Marilyn and Carolyn. They are cute kids. The job ended at seven. I got home in time for dinner. Dru was setting the table when I walked into the kitchen.  
  
"How was your baby-sitting jobs?" she asked.  
  
"Good," I said. "I'm exhausted though."  
  
Dru patted my hand. I smiled at her. After dinner, I went up to my room and collapsed onto my bed. I stared at the ceiling. I heard the doorbell ring. Five minutes later, I heard feet pounding up the stairs. Kristy and Abby came into my room.  
  
"Hey, guys," I said.  
  
Kristy sat in my desk chair and Abby sat on the floor against my bed. I sat up. Kristy looked at me.  
  
"How is everything?" she asked.  
  
"Fine," I said. "I have gained seven pounds."  
  
"That's good," Abby said.  
  
I shrugged. "I guess," I said.  
  
"What's wrong?" Abby asked.  
  
"I thought maybe that I gained more than that," I said.  
  
"It's only been three days," Kristy said. "It takes time."  
  
I sighed. "I know," I said.  
  
We sat in silence for awhile. Abby was the first to speak up.  
  
"How's Logan?" she asked.  
  
"Fine," I said. "We have made a date for Saturday."  
  
"Has he treated you the way he treated Mary Anne?" Kristy asked.  
  
"No," I said. "I think he learned his lesson. He has turned over a new leaf."  
  
"That's good," Kristy said. "Because if he was treating you badly, we would have to hurt him."  
  
We laughed. I tried to picture Kristy beating Logan up. I shook my head.  
  
"Thanks, guys," I said. "I really appreciate you sticking by me through all this. It helps to know I have people I can count on."  
  
Abby sat on the bed and put her arm around my shoulders. "We'll always be there for you," she said. "We're friends through thick and thin."  
  
"Abby's right," Kristy said.  
  
I smiled. "You guys are great," I said.  
  
Abby sighed smugly. "We know," she said, smiling.  
  
I nudged her with my shoulder. We looked at each other and smiled. Kristy and Abby stayed until eight. After they left, I got ready for bed. Dad came in. He kissed me good night and then left. I turned off the light. I fell asleep, exhausted but happy. I had a smile on my face.  
  
Chapter 15  
  
  
  
By the end of the month, I had gained twenty pounds. I was almost back to my normal weight. I was so happy. Logan and I had our one-month anniversary. He took me to a fancy restaurant. After dinner he gave me a bracelet with a heart shaped charm. I gave him a thank you kiss. He blushed. For a present I gave him a picture of us at a SMS football game. He said that he loved it. I was glad.  
  
That month, I finished writing my novel. Now I was on a new one. Dad started dating a woman from work. I haven't met her yet, but she seems to make Dad happy. I wasn't sure how I felt about Dad dating. I know he has gotten lonely after Mom died. I'm glad that Dad had a life outside his family. He didn't have that many friends. Stacey told me that her mother started dating, too. She didn't know who it was.  
  
"I wonder who it could be," Stacey said one day when she was over at my house. She sat on my desk chair.  
  
"Could it be a guy from work?" I asked. I sat on my stomach on my bed.  
  
"I don't know," Stacey said. "But she said that I would meet him soon."  
  
"You don't think it could be my dad, do you?" I asked.  
  
"I'm sure that if it was, she would have told me," Stacey said. "She knows that I'm friends with you."  
  
"Dad would have told me if it was your mother," I said. "I just think its weird that they both just started dating. Your mother does work at the same place my dad does."  
  
"What if our parents are dating each other?" Stacey said.  
  
"I don't know how I would feel," I said. "Do you think it would come between us?"  
  
"Mary Anne's dad dated Dawn's mother," Stacey said. "It didn't come between them. Of course, it was Dawn and Mary Anne were who get them together."  
  
"I don't want it to come between us," I said.  
  
"Me, either," Stacey said. "But if our parents are dating, it's not definite that they would get married."  
  
I nodded. I looked at Stacey. She came over and sat on the bed. She put her arm around my shoulders.  
  
"I wouldn't mind having you as a sister," she said. "It would be cool. I always wanted a sister.'  
  
"Me, too," I said. "I won't mind having a sister my own age."  
  
"Well, we'll just see what happens," she said.  
  
The doorbell rang. Stacey got up. She looked at me.  
  
"That would be my mom," she said.  
  
"Let's snick down the stairs and see what happens between our parents," I suggested. "Then we'll know if we are right."  
  
She nodded. We slowly walked down the stairs. When we got halfway down, we sat on a step. What we saw we weren't prepared for. Our parents were kissing! We gasped. They broke apart and saw us. They turned red. Stacey and I looked at each other. We were speechless.  
  
"Then I fainted," I told my friends at the Monday meeting.  
  
They stared at Stacey and me in shock. I looked at Stacey. Finally, Claudia broke the silence.  
  
"What's going to happen next?" she asked.  
  
"Tonight we're going to have dinner together," Stacey said.  
  
"What if they get married?" Mary Anne asked.  
  
"We'll figure it out when we get there," I said.  
  
"How do you feel about this?" Kristy asked.  
  
"I don't know," I said tearfully. "I mean I'm happy that he's dating and I'm also glad that its Mrs. McGill. I just don't want this to come between Stacey and me." Tears slid down my face.  
  
Stacey put her arm around my shoulders. "It won't, Fi," she said. "You're my bestfriend. And your dad is great. I wouldn't mind having him as a stepfather. Don't worry about it."  
  
I nodded. Stacey and I hugged. Later that night, Mrs. McGill, Dad, Stacey and I went to Chez Maurice. Stacey was nervous.  
  
"Chez Maurice was where Mr. Spier proposed to Mrs. Spier," she said.  
  
"I don't think our parents are getting married yet," I said. "They haven't dated that long."  
  
"You're right," Stacey said. She relaxed.  
  
The dinner went smoothly. Dad explained how Mrs. McGill and him met. They were both going to buy some clothes for Bellair. They found out that they liked each other and decided to date.  
  
"I don't want you girls to think we're going to get married," Mrs. McGill said. "And we hope it won't come between you two."  
  
"Don't worry, Mom," Stacey said. "We are bestfriends."  
  
"We're happy that you're dating," I added.  
  
"That's good," Dad said.  
  
The waiter came and we ordered. Dad made sure I took my pill. He explained to Mrs. McGill what they were for. I half expected her to run away, but she didn't. I had a good feeling about the relationship.  
  
Dad told Stacey that she could call him Jonathan. I was allowed to call Mrs. McGill Maureen. After dinner, Dad dropped Maureen and Stacey off. When we got home, I got ready for bed. Dad came into my room. He sat on my bed. He took my hand.  
  
"Fi," he said, "even though I'm dating Maureen I want you to know that I will always love your mother. She was my first love. No one can take the place of her."  
  
"I know, Daddy," I said. "Mommy was special."  
  
"Yes she was," he said.  
  
"Its true that I'm glad that you're dating Maureen," I said. "If you decide to get married, I want you to know you have my blessing. I would like to have a sister my own age."  
  
"I know, sweetheart," he said. "Now go to sleep. You have school tomorrow."  
  
"All right, Daddy," I said. "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too, Ocean," he said. He kissed me good night. He shut the door behind him as he left.  
  
I turned off the light. I fell asleep with a smile on my face. I couldn't wait to see what the future would bring. 


End file.
